The term 'polite and refined' can be summarized by two crossword solutions: 'URBANE' (6 letters) and 'GENTEEL' (7 letters). URBANE is an adjective that describes someone who is sophisticated, elegant, and well-mannered. It is derived from the Latin word 'urbanus', which means 'of or belonging to a city'. GENTEEL is also an adjective that describes someone who is well-mannered, courteous, and refined. It is derived from the French word 'gentil', which means 'well-born'. Both words are often used to describe people who have good manners and are socially graceful.